CONFUSED and UNDECIDED...

5years of investing my life in the tutorial business has been so productive and overwhelming. I didn't even expect that I'll be having a hard time leaving such profession - such kind of business. Mind you, It's my 3rd attempt now to leave but here I am again, confused and hesitant.

It's not that I am thinking of the money that I'll be losing. Instead, I am saddened whenever I think of leaving my students who have been with me for all those years. It's just that I have been with them for 'bout 6 years now and I have seen them grow a lot from Gr. 1-6. It always makes me think of those moments when I laugh and meddle with their foolishness and give myself a chance to be a child again, whenever we talk about silly and stupid things out of nowhere and of course, whenever we exchange ideas on certain things.

In short, even if I'm yet to leave, I'm already starting to miss them. I always find it heartwarming whenever my incoming grade 6 tutees try to stop me from leaving and ask for one more year of extending again.

My tutees most especially the incoming Gr.6 students have been so dear to me that I can't even afford to leave them at the peak of their grade school years. Later did I realize that I have always been an important part of their lives that they even tried to defend me at times. I have already learned to love them despite everything.

Thus I am here, CONFUSED and UNDECIDED...

Whether to STAY or to GO pursue my dreams...

To be SELFLESS and let love for my students prevail

or to just be SELFISH and just go straight ahead and reach my dreams?

Will I ever find fulfillment in choosing my tutees or will I ever find fulfillment in choosing my dreams?